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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663865">You’re All I Know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twenty One Pilots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adulthood, Awkward Romance, Best Friends, Bisexual Character, Boys In Love, Canon Non-Binary Character, Chance Meetings, Concerts, Dating, Developing Friendships, Dorks in Love, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Existential Crisis, Falling In Love, Fat Character, First Meetings, First Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, LGBTQ Character, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Meet-Cute, Nonbinary Character, Other, POV First Person, Romance, Social Anxiety, Tags Contain Spoilers, Trans Character, Transgender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:01:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kian and Gray meet by chance, then go on to become best friends. They grow ever closer, struggling through young adulthood and all its issues together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! please keep in mind that this is the first story i’ve ever written. helpful and nice comments/suggestions are welcome. (also let me know if you see any mistakes!) happy reading! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the third time we had hung out this week. I wondered if he would get tired of me. “Gray,” he pointedly said, as if it was not the first time he had tried getting my attention. “Yes?” I asked, trying to look like I knew what was going on. “Are you okay?” he asked me, looking both concerned and a little annoyed. “Yeah, don’t worry. Sometimes I just zone out. I’m good.” </p><p>Lately I had been doing that a lot. Kian had been my closest friend for a few years now, and at some point I found myself liking him - a recipe for certain disaster. There was the whole, is-it-even-possible-for-him-to-like-nonbinary-people thing, the whole i-was-fat-and-not-conventionally-attractive thing, the awkward what-if-i-ruin-our-friendship-by-declaring-my-love-for-him thing...yeah. I mean, I didn’t think he was a shallow person, but you can never be too sure. And I knew most people had low self-esteem, but something told me I had more issues than most. I was not going to ruin the best friendship I had ever had, so I kept it all to myself. However, my brain did like to wander, especially around him. Good thing I was already known to be absent-minded. </p><p>“Okay, man. Good...Are you gonna finish that?” “Uh, yes...nice try,” I shoved him. We had gotten food from our local Mexican restaurant and brought it to the lakeshore. It was mid-August, and today was a pleasantly warm day. Normally I stayed indoors like a vampire during the summer, but I could be bribed with good food. Especially because this was basically my favorite food in the entire world, which he knew. We were sitting on rocks near the water, because seemingly everyone on earth was taking up all the picnic tables. I appreciated the fact that we were alone, away from all the noisy people and the seagulls stalking them. I tried not to squint as I looked out on the water, taking another bite of my quesadilla. It was okay being outside sometimes, I guess. I started thinking about how glad I was that we had become friends. Before I knew Kian, I hadn’t been this close to anyone, ever.</p><p>           - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. K-I-A-N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>more chapters will be coming very soon! let me know if you think the story is awkwardly broken up here. it felt like it was way too long to be one chapter. again, helpful comments &amp; suggestions are welcome! :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was pretty sure that my life had always been, and would always be, extremely boring. I did like traveling and going to concerts, but I hated talking to people. My social anxiety prevented me from ever initiating conversations with people, and I noticed tons of other people randomly chatting up strangers at shows. I wondered how they did it. I was also pretty sure any guy that would speak to me would definitely be a creep, and I always just prayed they would continue to not notice me, like usual. Maybe it was just me being paranoid, but it seemed like my face attracted creeps. And girls didn’t exactly notice my existence. </p><p>One day, I was at a twenty one pilots concert in the nearest big city, by myself, because I stupidly thought it would be fine this one time. I was in the pit, waiting for the show to start, surrounded by hundreds of people on all sides. My heart was already racing in anticipation. The music they were playing sounded mysterious and cool, but it put me on edge even more. All of a sudden, some person behind me was shoving me forward, causing me to shove the person in front of me. I was irritated, as well as nervous that the person in front of me would think I randomly pushed them. “I’m sorry,” I loudly said to their back, trying to be heard over the hundreds of other voices that were talking. “I didn’t mean to push you. Someone else shoved me and I landed on you.” They did not respond. Yikes. </p><p>“Hey, man, I’m sorry,” I heard a deep voice say behind me. The thought crossed my mind that this random person really called me “man,” which did lessen my irritation. I turned around, making that awkward not-really-a-smile face at the perpetrator. It was some guy I assumed was in his twenties, and he actually didn’t seem drunk, which surprised me. He had short, bright green hair, which I instantly thought looked really cool, and was about the same height as me. He continued, “Sorry, I’m just clumsy, and there’s a lot of garbage on the floor here. Are you okay?” I was shocked that he even apologized, let alone asked if I was okay. I realized I hadn’t asked if the person in front of me was okay, and felt a pang of guilt. “Uh, yeah...I’m fine,” I awkwardly half-yelled in response. “Thank you.” I hoped that was the end of the conversation, because I was alone and really didn’t want some creep bothering me and potentially following me. </p><p>“No, no, it was my bad. Glad you’re okay.” He was still talking. <i> Okay, now that’s probably it</i>, I thought. I didn’t think I needed to say anything else, so I turned back around. I started to feel relieved that my human interaction time was over, when the mystery guy proceeded to keep talking some more. “So, how long have you liked twenty one pilots?” I heard him say. I didn’t know if he still felt bad and was trying to be polite, or if he was starting his creeping on me. I assumed the latter, and was cursing him silently. I turned around again, hoping if I politely answered his questions that he would leave me alone. </p><p>“Um...around seven years, I think,” I responded. “Oh, wow, that’s such a long time! I’ve only liked them for like...3 years. This is my first time seeing them. I’m like...really excited,” he laughed, seeming a little embarrassed. “Oh, that’s cool. I’ve seen them twice before,” I answered, still awkward. “Oh my god, that’s great! It must’ve been so cool seeing them on other tours. I’m bummed that I missed out on all those years of albums and tours before now. Which album is your favorite?” He was clearly very chatty. I guessed it was okay to talk to him about tøp, since that’s why we were all here, and he thankfully wasn’t asking me a bunch of invasive questions, or telling me to smile, or some other sexist junk. Plus, he had assumed I was a guy at first...That was nice. </p><p>“Oh, um...yeah, it was really fun. And my favorite album is Vessel.” “Dude, mine too! What a world. I mean, they do have several albums, so it is sort of a coincidence,” he chuckled awkwardly. I laughed a little. I was glad he was also being awkward. Usually it seemed like everyone else knew how to talk to people without being nervous, and conversations seemed to flow naturally, while I went around not knowing how to speak to other humans. He continued, “I know everyone posts setlists online now, so it’s not really a surprise what songs they’ll do, but I didn’t want to look. I want to be surprised.” “Oh, yeah...that sounds like it might be more fun, but I had to look. I couldn’t resist,” I responded bashfully. “That’s okay, man. No shame in wanting to be prepared.” “Do you know the song they always end with, or have you managed to avoid that too?” I wondered aloud. “I don’t know anything,” he proudly stated. “I’m not online very much, so I’ve been able to avoid any and all spoilers.” “Wow, good job,” I replied. He shyly smiled at me for a second before looking away. There was an awkward silence for a minute, in which I realized I supposed it was possible that he wasn’t a creep. </p><p>I somehow mustered up the courage to say something to him first this time, asking, “What other bands do you like?” He went on to tell me about probably ten other bands that he also listened to, excitedly telling me about each one. I listened to a few of them myself, which he appreciated. Soon, I was forgetting to be worried. After a few minutes, he was still talking, and the lights went out. The opening band was about to come on. He stopped mid-sentence, yelling “We can talk more after if you want!” over the screaming crowd. I nodded in response, not wanting to scream back at him. I had never heard of this band, but I wanted to pay attention. I had found a lot of bands I liked when they opened for someone else I liked. The band consisted of two girls and three guys, and I was surprised to see that neither girl was the singer or the keyboard player, which often seemed to be the only roles girls had in bands. They were the guitar player and the drummer. They played several songs one after the other, and I couldn’t figure out how many it had been because they all blended together. Soon, the singer was telling us it was their last song, and before I knew it, they were bowing and walking off stage. </p><p>The lights came up, and despite it only being the opening act, my heart was still racing. The mystery guy tapped me on the shoulder, asking “So, what did you think of them?” I was just now realizing that neither of us knew each other’s names. “They were pretty good. I might listen to them later,” I answered. I wasn’t sure if I would’ve listened to them if I had found them online, but something about hearing songs live made them sound better every time. “Yeah, I agree. I’d never heard of them before today but they were pretty good.” We talked more about the singer’s eccentric outfit, what we thought of the songs, and the conversation actually flowed naturally. I did remember that we needed to introduce each other, and interrupted him, because I didn’t know when there would be a break in his chattiness, saying, “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but you never told me your name.” He looked surprised, saying “Oh, I guess I forgot. I’m Kian. K-I-A-N. A lot of people don’t know how to spell it.” He laughed a little. “I’m Gray,” I introduced myself. “G-R-A-Y.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Everything I Hoped For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We both laughed lightly. We kept talking, and soon the subject moved on from the opening act and tøp. He told me he was twenty-one years old, and that he was from Newport, just like me. He had recently started working at one of the local grocery stores, because he had dropped out of college. I was surprised he volunteered that information so easily. I told him that I had graduated last year, and how I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I didn’t know why I felt free to share that info, either. Most people badgered me with questions that I didn’t want or know how to answer, and here I was, volunteering embarrassing facts about myself to a stranger. </p><p>We lost track of time, and what felt like only a couple minutes later, the lights went down again. The crowd instantly roared, making my ears ring. My heart was in my throat, in a good way, and I turned around to face front, screaming my head off. I heard Kian laughing behind me. I looked over my shoulder and gave him a sheepish look. An intro video began playing on the big screen, and I continued screaming. I always liked screaming at concerts, because I could barely hear my awful voice, and it was my only opportunity to make a lot of noise and let it all out. All of a sudden I heard Kian obnoxiously hollering almost directly into my ear. It was annoying, but most guys I’d ever seen just stood there silently at concerts, so I thought it was kind of cute. I half turned around, raising my eyebrows, and we both laughed. </p><p>Tyler and Josh were now walking out onstage, and the two of us were losing it. Suddenly I could hear the opening notes of “Heavydirtysoul,” and I was so pumped. When the singing started, everyone, including us two, started screeching along, most of them tone-deaf. It was okay, though. This was good. During one of the later songs, Tyler asked us all to dance, and I was thinking, Um, no way am I doing this. Suddenly, Kian was tapping my shoulder, hands outstretched, clearly trying to get me to dance with him. I felt my face grow hot, unsure of what to do. I did not dance, ever. I didn’t know how, and I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t do anything that involved some kind of performing or people looking at me. He noticed my hesitation, mouthing to me, “Nobody is watching you.” My brain froze, my body making the decision for me, reaching out to grab his hands. We started doing some sort of tango/jumping/twirling hybrid mess of a dance, and it was completely ridiculous. This was one of those things that happened in movies, and I always wondered if anyone actually did that. Apparently, random men do notice awkward strangers and ask them to dance. I was getting so sweaty and disgusting, but I noticed that he was, too. The thought crossed my mind that he was right, and nobody was looking at me. I really appreciated that. It also occurred to me, <i>*Was* he drunk, though? Who is this fun and uninhibited with no alcohol in their system? Certainly not me. </i></p><p>The thought left my mind as quickly as it came, because we were at a twenty one pilots show. They played song after song, and it seemed like it was going by much too quickly. The two of us were acting like best friends already, screaming to each other and jumping together, talking in each other’s ears whenever there was a break between songs. I fought the urge to start being sad about it being over before it even ended. I did that sometimes. When they started playing Trees, I turned around and told Kian it was the last song. This would probably mean a lot to him, being his first show. I knew there would be confetti and that I might cry. I didn’t want to do that now that I sort of knew Kian, and that he would definitely notice. The band began the song, and everyone was jumping up and down like crazy. Kian kept bumping up against my back, and I was squeezed up against every person surrounding me. It occurred to me that it was nice in a way to be surrounded by all these people. Everyone else there was some stranger that I would never know, but they were all there for the same reason as me. The avalanche of confetti started coming down towards the end of the song. It landed directly on my face and upper body, sticking to my sweaty skin, and getting in my mouth. It was kinda gross, but I still loved this part the most. I wished I could freeze time and just explore this moment for a little while longer. I knew the song was almost over, and I fought the tears that I knew were coming. I just loved them so much and never wanted this to end. A few tears spilled out despite my best efforts, immediately getting absorbed by the confetti still falling. Soon, the last notes of the song were ringing out, and the band was taking their bows, thanking us all for coming, saying “see you next time.”</p><p>All of a sudden the lights were up again, and in a way it felt like nothing had ever happened. I fleetingly wished that they had left the lights off for a minute so I could adjust, not wanting to leave the world of that experience yet. It felt so abrupt. I peeled all the tiny pieces of paper off my face, pulling a crumpled up tissue out of my pocket to wipe off my face before letting Kian see me. I turned around, only to see him wiping his eyes. “No way, you cried too?” I laughed, and the look on his face flashed from embarrassment to amusement once he understood what I said. “Uh, yeah...not to get all cheesy, but it was everything I hoped for, and more,” he responded. “Me, too.” I said. “It never gets old no matter how many times I see them.” He smiled at that, a genuinely happy smile. He ran his fingers through his sweaty hair, and I suddenly noticed: he was pretty good-looking. Wow. I hadn’t gotten a good look at him the entire time; I was too focused on the concert. I was also just now realizing that he had also come alone to the show. </p><p>I broke out of my daydreaming when I realized he was talking.  “Um...so, I don’t mean this the way it sounds, but...do you want to leave together? We could go get food at that place across the street. It’s okay if you don’t want to, though. Really.” I was kind of shocked. I guess I knew I shouldn’t be, given that we had pretty much hung out together the entire night, but still. People didn’t like me...ever. I also still had a nagging voice in my head telling me to be careful to not get murdered or kidnapped. I thought about it for a minute, and I texted my mom that the show was over, and that I was getting food. I told her I was going with someone I met at the show, and to be worried if I didn’t text her again in 10 minutes. I hoped she didn’t worry a ton about me. I felt reassured for a second that I was pretty heavy, too heavy for most people to carry. I also had my keys in my pocket and it was still very crowded. I figured it would most likely be okay. I really hoped I wouldn’t regret this. </p><p>“Um...yeah, we can get food. My mom knows where I’m going, so she’s coming to pick me up a little later.” I made sure to tell him that someone knew where I was, in case he had any nefarious plans. “Okay, sounds good,” he answered politely. “I want to save some confetti,” I changed the subject. I picked up fistfuls of it, wanting to keep as much as possible, stuffing it into my bag and my pockets. He started grabbing confetti, too, stuffing it into his own pockets. Security started telling us to leave after what felt like two seconds, as usual, and I kept picking it up as I walked. I always did this, never feeling like I had enough, only stopping when I left the arena and there was no more left on the floor. Security guards often made fun of me, which I resented. </p><p>Kian looked amused, but not in a condescending way. “What do you do with all that confetti?” He asked innocently. “Uh...Usually nothing. I’m so disorganized with everything in my life,” I awkwardly laughed. “But I want to save it for sentimental reasons. I’d like to try to make something with it.” “That’s pretty cool,” he replied. “I saved some when I saw you doing it. Just in case. Seemed like it might be a cool idea,” he said, blushing a little. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just smiled back at him. </p><p>We were now walking down the stairs, almost out of the arena. We joined the bottleneck in front of the doors, coming to a complete stop. Everyone was shoulder-to-shoulder, just like in the pit inside. Kian got squished behind me, and I felt his body pressed up against me. If I was honest, it felt both really awkward and kind of thrilling at the same time. After a minute, the crowd thinned out a little, and we had room to breathe again. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled. “It’s okay,” I reassured him, followed by another awkward silence. We finally made our way out of the building, and the air outside felt cold in comparison, despite it being a summer night. It was a breezy and pleasant night. I grabbed his arm as we crossed the street, out of habit, because I always did that when I was with anyone. I wanted to make sure we crossed the street together, I guess, or wanted to be able to quickly get someone out of the road if necessary. I quickly became embarrassed when I realized what I had done, but he didn’t pull away, so I tried pretending nothing happened. I felt my face get hot for the millionth time that night. I hated how easily I blushed. </p><p>We got to the restaurant across the street unscathed. It was packed full of concertgoers. We sat down in the one booth that appeared to be empty. I had never been here before, but it looked like a cute, old-timey diner. After a few minutes, we both ordered our food. I thankfully remembered to text my mom, telling her I was okay. He started being chatty again as we ate, talking about a million different things, and I participated when necessary. The thought kept popping into my head that this was so weird, and stuff like this didn’t happen to me. I mean, I knew it was just me eating food with some dude, but still. Nothing exciting ever happened to me. I went about my life basically alone, with no one ever noticing me. But Kian had noticed me. </p><p>“So, uh...do you maybe want to...exchange numbers, or something?” He asked, me picking at the food left on his plate. “Yeah, sure,” I said, without much hesitation. I hoped I wasn’t being stupid, but he hadn’t done anything predatory yet. Maybe he was a good one. I was probably high off adrenaline from the concert, but who knows. I motioned for him to give me his phone, and I typed in my number. Then I handed him mine, and he typed in his number. I was still somewhat suspicious of how interested he was in me, but I tried to brush it off. If he was a creep, I could block him and change my number. Plus, he didn’t know my last name. Or even my legal first name. It would be fine.</p><p>After Kian handed me back my phone, I asked my mom to come pick me up. As we finished our food, she texted me that she was around the corner. I frantically realized that we hadn’t paid yet, and I pulled some cash out of my wallet, leaving it on the table. “Sorry I’m running out on you, but my mom’s here,” I told him, standing up quickly, the skin on my thighs painfully detaching itself from the vinyl seat. “Ugh, I stood up too quickly,” I said as he laughed at my wince. I jokingly gave him a dirty look, getting up out of the booth. “Talk to you later, then?” I asked. “Yeah, definitely,” he answered, standing up as well. Before I realized what was happening, he was hugging me. I panicked for half a second, then realized it was just a hug. I tentatively put my arms around his waist. He still felt slightly sweaty. I groaned internally as I felt a fluttering feeling in my stomach. I did *not* need to start liking this guy. We both let go at the same time, and I awkwardly waved and said goodbye. I made my way out of the diner, calling my mom the second I got outside, just to be safe. “I’m just leaving the restaurant now, Mom,” I said after I heard her pick up. I saw her car once I turned the corner, and I briskly walked up to it, climbing in the passenger seat. “So, how was the concert?” She asked as I hung up the phone and closed the door. It suddenly hit me what had happened. That really happened? It didn’t seem real or logical. “It was really good, Mom. I’m glad I went.”</p>
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